Love me, Love me
by ILoveFancyTrancy
Summary: Alois perfectly fine with his friendship with Ciel Phantomhive. I mean, it was better than nothing, right? But what happens when Ciel finds out a huge secret? Will he ever be able to look at the blonde the same again? Modern AU. Trigger warning for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

"Mr Trancy, this is the 5th time this month you've been written up for violating dress code." The principal said, folding his hands on his desk. "I'm going to have to call your parents." At those words, Alois Trancy practically bolted out of his chair. "No, no, no, no, no, sir. Please, I'll wear something -er- d-decent! Please!" The principal raised an eyebrow and sighed, "One more slip up, Trancy, One more." He warned, shooing the blonde out of his office. Alois smirked and and left the room, stopping by a nearby mirror to see what the school thought was "inappropriate"

He was wearing a plan purple t-shirt with a black vest over it with a bow on the back. His shorts were way above his knees, which was, he guessed, the "inappropriate" aspect of his attire. He chose to ignore several faded bruises around his thighs.

Alois shrugged and skipped down the stairs and empty hallways until he reached the class in which he had been called out of. 24 pairs of eyes shot toward him as he entered. Some giggled, others whispered rude and vulgar things under their breath as Alois smiled politely and made his way to his desk in the very back. He was use to this, of course. The bullying. It had been going on for so long that the blonde couldn't even remember a time where he could walk down the hall and not get called a weirdo. He guess it was because of his hyperactive and flamboyant personality. Or maybe they just didn't like booty shorts.

Alois turned to the side and smiled as he spotted his long-time crush, Ciel Phantomhive. Ciel was the closest thing Alois had to a ''friend.'' He put up with Alois's hugs and nonstop chatter, but the navy haired boy was never exactly thrilled to see the blonde. He always acted irriated and annoyed, which, in turn, made Alois want to cheer him up even more. Ciel was looking out the window, a rather bored expression plasered on his picturesque face. His only visable eye was a brilliant deep blue while the other was gaured by an eyepatch. Whenever Alois asked about the orgin of the eyepatch, Ciel would always said it was because of some accident when he was little and then change the sugject. Alois understood and didn't ask again. He wouldn't want someone asking about his past either. Definantly not.

The bell ripped Alois out of his thoughts and he practically ran over to Ciel's desk. "Hey, Ciel!" He said happily.

Ciel sighed and continued packing his books into his messenger bag. "What did you get called to the office for this time? Let me guess, dress code?" Alois nodded and laughed. The pair walked down the hall and out the school doors, chatting about their day. Outside it felt lovely. The air was warm and a gentle breeze past by every now and then. The sky was a bright blue, matching Alois's eyes to a T. Unfortunately, not even the beautiful weather could cheer Alois up. This was his least favorite part of the day; the part where him and Ciel had to go their seperate ways.

They walked their usual way, down the side walk and to an old playground, then Ciel turned to him. "Well, bye. See you tomorrow." Alois watched the boy walk off, wanting nothing more than to run up to him and hold him tight and follow him home. The blonde sighed and sat down on an rusted old swing. He was in absolutely no hurry to get home. He hated it there so much. It was a nightmare.

Alois sat ont he swing for more than an hour, staring at the ground and thinking. What did kids on tv do when they had abusive parents? They run away, right? "It could work..." the boy said aloud to no one. Suddenly, a sickening feeling almost caused Alois to fall to the ground. This was Thursday, not Friday. Every Friday Alois waited until dark before going home, so that, by the time he arrived, his father would be at work. But his father doesn't work on Thursdays.

Alois leaped out of the swing and ran full speed to his house. He was going to be in so much trouble! How could he have been so stupid?! Tears leaked out of his ice blue eyes as he came to a screeching halt in front of his house. From the outside, his house was the envy of the whole neighborhood. His father was quite rich, so their house was quite large. It was three stories with elegant gardens and hugs fountians. But no garden nor fancy fountain could hide the nightmare that happened everyday behind the closed $100,000 doors.

Alois opened the door silently and stepped inside. The whole house was pitch black and dead quiet. The only sound was of Alois's heartbeat busting in his eardrums. Okay, so far so good. Maybe his dad had gone to sleep? All he had to do was get to his room and lock the door. Then he'd be safe.

Alois took off his shoes and silently climbed the marble staircase. Every step seem to echo louder than the last, casuing Alois to shake even more. After an eternity, the blonde finally reached the hallway. It was dark and still, but Alois knew exactly where his room was. 4th door on the left. 212 steps from where he was. He looked around, expecting to see his father lurking around in the shadows. But he was alone. The blonde haired boy tip toed to his door and grabbed the knob. He took a deep breath. This was it. All he had to do was turn the knob, dash in, and lock it. Biting his lip, Alois turned the handle and practically jumped inside, slamming the door and locking it behind him.

The blonde broke out into a smile. He had done it! Alois leaned against the cool wall and let out a long sigh. He flicked on the lights and almost threw up. It was his father. Sitting on his bed. Waiting. No, no, no, no. He had locked the door! He was safe! Alois's eyes widened and he slide down to the floor as hid father smiled his disgusting smile. The last thing Alois remembered thinking was that he wished his dad worked on Thursdays.

**A/N: Hello!~ I'm really sorry for any and all grammar/spelling mistakes. I proofread it two times, but I still might have missed one! Anywayyyyy! I already have a majority of this story typed, so I just have to split it up into chapters and post it. I was originally going to make this a one-shot, but I didn't think many people would want to read a one-shot that's wayyy long. 0 I hope you enjoy!~ :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**Trigger warning for physical abuse and hints of sexual abuse. If any of these topics bother you, please do not read on.**

His father had been like this for as long as Alois could remember. The man who beat him wasn't his real father, oh no. He was his adopted father. Alois's real parents died a long time ago along with his little brother. The boy had been absolutely ecstatic when the orphanage said someone wanted to adopt him. Oh how he came to regret it. The man who was now Alois's ''father'' beat him senseless and also did rather perverse things to the boy. Things that make him lay awake feeling dirty and violated.

Alois woke on the floor, still in his clothes from the previous day. Several rays of sunlight shone in through the blinds, signaling the arrival of morning. But Alois couldn't pay much attention to the new day. He was way too worried about the horrible pain in his side and the fresh patches of bruises littering his body. Standing up was like defying gravity. Sure, the boy was use to pain, but this was excruciating. His body screamed as he made his way to the mirror. He saw just what he expected. His clothes were ripped and blood stained. His lip was busted and accompanyed by a huge bruise on his cheek. Every breath was agonizing. Man, his father must have been really angry. Glancing over at the clock, Alois noticed he was way late for school. He cursed under his breath and dressed as fast as his pain tolerance would let him. He was almost positive that a rib or two was broken, but that was the least of his worries. Hiding broken ribs was easy, but a huge fat bruise on the cheek was another. Ususally when this happened, Alois snuck some make-up out of his maid's room and covered it up. It worked for the most part, but it seemed the servants caught on and alerted Alois's father. Needless to say, he would never try that again. "At least the principal will be happy." The blonde grumbled, sliding on a pair of long pants.

"Where were you this morning?" Ciel asked, sitting down at their usual lunch table. Alois rested his head on his hand and giggled. "Did you really miss me that much? Awww! How sweet!" Ciel rolled his eye and handed the blonde a piece of chocolate. "No, it's just that I had to copy all of your notes. And there's going to be a quiz i-"

"Yeah, yeah, that's boring." Alois interrupted, taking a bite of the candy. "Well, don't blame me when you fail!" Ciel scolded. Alois was going to laugh, but was cut short by something wet being poured on his head, "WHAT THE?!" He yelled, jumping out of his chair and whipping around to see two older boys with an empty milk carton. "Whoops, sorry, Trancy. I mistood you for the trash can. My mistake." The whole room shook with laughter and Alois clenched his fists. "What's that on your face, Trancy? Get into a fight with yourself?" One boy cried out, jabbing a finger in the blonde's face. Anger welled inside Alois. He knew he couldn't get into a fight, not with all of the trouble he's already been in. He's be expelled and forced to be home 24/7. Alois took a deep breath and smirked.

"Wow, you freaks must have no life whatsoever if spilling milk on someone is your sole sorce of entertainment." Alois whipping his blonde locks, causing milk to spray everyone. Ciel jumped up beside Alois and grabbed his bag. "I'm leaving before you get us all in trouble." He stated blandly, walking away. "Awwww! You scared your little boyfriend away. How sad. What's up with his eye, anyway? He looks like a freak!" That was it. Alois's fist connected with the guy's face and sent him flying backwards. Before anyone had any time whatsoever to react, Alois ran.

He ran as fast as he could, out of the building and down the road. He shouldn't have punched that kid. He shouldn't have, but he couldn't help it. Hearing someone talk bad about Ciel angered him to no end.

The blonde's legs and chest burned as he ran the corner toward the old park. His body was still sore and painful from last night's events, but he knew he couldn't stop. Tears fell to the ground as he sat down in his usual swing, It was his fault, wasn't it? It was his fault he's bullied and abused. It was his fault Ciel doesn't like him. It was his fault his life was this horrible. He just wanted to be loved. Was that really too much to ask for? He fell out of the swing, clutching his chest and screaming.

Alois cried and cried and screamed at the sky until he could barely keep his eyes open. He half expected Ciel to come find him. To hold him tight and wipe away his tears. But no one came. He was alone, just like always.

The blonde didn't go home that night. He slept under the starry night sky. In the early morning hours he was rudely awoken by rain pouring on him. He cursed and got up, walking aimlessly down the deserted streets. He stared blankly ahead as he walked, not really caring about anything around him nor himself. What did it matter? If he went home, he'd just be beaten. If he showed up at school, he'd be expelled and sent home. He had no one that loved him. No one who cared if he made it home or not. No one at all.

Somehow Alois found himself in front of Ciel's house. He was drenched and in pain, but strangely numb. His brain felt sluggish and disconnected. The blonde dragged himself to the fancy front door and knocked. Ciel's house was almost as big as his. It was huge.

The bluenette opened the door and his visable eye widened. Alois just stood there, not smiling nor frowning, the rain pounding on his back.

"Alois?! Get in here!" Ciel yelled, grabbing the blonde's shirtsleeve and practically throwing him inside. The navy haired boy slammed the door and began talking at a million miles a minute.

"Where have you been? You're in so much trouble at school! You didn't have to punch that kid. God, you're really an idiot, Alois! Do you not care how your actions affect others? Why where you in the rain? Are you just trying to get sick?" Ciel stopped when he noticed Alois wasn't saying anything. He didn't even look up at the other boy. He just stared at the ground, watching the puddle of water accumulate beneath him.

"Alois?" Ciel asked softly. Tears sprung from the blonde's ice blue eyes at the sound of his name being called. Ciel cared, didn't he? "Alois, I'll go get you some fresh clothes, okay? Stay here." With those words, the Phantomhive boy ascended up the staircase.

Alois stood in the in the doorway of his crush's house, shivering and crying and completely breaking down. He held his arms tightly and sank to the floor. He buried his blonde head in his knees and cried.

"Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it!" Alois scolded himself. He had to stop crying like a absolutle fool with no sence of composure. Ciel couldn't see him like this. Ciel had only seen him laughing and smiling like the sun. He had never seen this part of him, and he didn't need to. Alois took several deep breaths, but still couldn't bring himself to smile. It was like something inside was stopping him.

"Alois?"

Alois looked up to Ciel crouched down beside him, holding some clothes. Alois stood up slowly, Ciel doing the same, and wiped his tears away hastily.

"Come upstairs, Alois." Ciel said softly, grabbing the other boy's sleeve and leading him upstairs. Without thinking, Alois freed his sleeve from the bluenette's grasp and held the boy's hand tightly. Ciel didn't turn around or say anything, he just squeezed back.

**A/N: It's Christmas Eve and what am I doing? Retyping 7 pages of crappy fanfiction! I really should learn not to write my fanfic on paper first. Because tying it out takes foreeevvveeerrrrr~ Anyway, I'm not happy with this because everyone is sooo out of character it's crazy! D: I'm so sorry!**


	3. Chapter 3

Once they reached Ciel's room, Alois reluctantly let go of the boy's hand and looked around the lavish bedroom. It was absolutly huge, filled to the brim with furniture and all of the latest electronics.

"Here are the clothes. I hope they fit." Ciel said, handing the blonde the clothes. Alois nodded and lifted his shirt halfway off when he froze completely. Ciel was still in the room, standing right in front of him. He could see all of the brusies. Alois quickly slid his shirt back down to reveal that Ciel's eye had gone wide. The blonde sheepishly tugged at the end of his shirt as he tried to think of something to break the heavy silence that sufficated the two. There was no use denying it, Ciel had seen.

"Alois...What happ-"

"Ciel, can you please leave for a moment? I'd like some privacy." Alois asked, cutting the boy off before he could ask any unwanted, awkward questions. Ciel stood there a moment longer before nodding and exiting the room.

Alois ripped his shirt off angrily and cursed out loud. Ciel had seen his body! The body that that old man touched and violated and beaten! This was not good at all. Alois took a huge breath and slid on the nice, warm clothes, as he tried to think of something he could do to fix this situation. Now things were going to be beyond awkward between the two. It could possibly even break their friendship. Maybe they could just pretend nothing happened? Maybe he should tell? Even if he did tell Ciel, what good would that do? It's not like Ciel could do anything about it. Alois sighed heavily and formulated a plan. It was simple, really. He would laugh and smile just like always, and pretend nothing at all happened. It wouldn't do any good to be quiet and sulk, that would just add to the problamatic atmosphere that already surrounded them. He'd just have to ignore it all for the sake of this friendship.

"Okay, Ciel, I'm done!~" he yelled. The navy haired boy entered rather slowly as Alois greeted him with a huge smile.

"Thanks oh so much for the clothes! I feel so much better now that I'm out of those sopping clothes! I was freezing!~" The blonde laughed, plopping down the huge bed. Ciel just stared at him as the deathly silence fill the room once again.

"Wow your bed is soft~" Alois remarked, giggling. Minutes pasts and finally Alois felt Ciel sit down on the edge of the bed.

"Hey, Alois?'' The navy haired boy asked, cause the blonde to perk up.

"Hmm?"

Ciel looked intently at his hands for a while, before slowly meeting Alois' gaze.

"How about you stay here for a while? Maybe for the weekend? You know, if you want to. You don't have to show up at school or anything."

Alois shot up from the bed and look at Ciel with glittering eyes and huge all-natural smile.

"What!? Are you serious?" He asked, barley able to stop himself from attacking the other boy with a hug and proceeding to dance around the room. Ciel smiled ever so slightly. "Sure. What are friends for?"

**A/N: Ahhhh Merry Christmas everyone!~ I spent Christmas at my grandma's house getting called fat by my cousin and hiding out in the back room. Yay for horrible social skills! Anywho, I'm sorry this chapter is so short! XP I considered merging it with the next chapter, but then it would be too looonng! Ughh confusion is my life. **


	4. Chapter 4

"A while" turned out to be the weekend, and the weekend turned into the whole week. Those days were hands down the best days of Alois Trancy's life. He took warm baths and ate huge meals with Ciel then laughed it all off. They played all sorts of games and watched anything from horror films to chick flicks, curled up on the couch under mounds of blankets. They stayed up all night talking, and slept late into the afternoon. Alois blasted music throughout the usually silent manor, trying ever trick in the book to get Ciel to dance. Those days were what someone could only discribe as absolutely wonderful. Ciel hadn't brought up what he's seen, and Alois was grateful for that. Alois was truely and utterly happy for the first time in his life. Oh, if only the good times could last forever.

"What's that?" Alois asked, hanging upside down from Ciel's bed. The navy haired boy read over a small envolpe of sorts, before quickly tossing it aside.

"Nothing important. Just an invatation to a pool party down the street."

Alois perked up at this, for he had never been to a pool party before. He had seen them on TV, of course, but had never actually attended one. He smiled ear to ear.

"Sounds fun!~ Can we go? Pleaseee?~" He begged, falling from his upside down position and flashing Ciel with puppy dog eyes.

The shorter boy crossed his arms and smirked. "Can you even swim?" he asked.

"Of course I can!" Alois lied, taking his turn to smirk. "The question in hand, though, is can you?"

Ciel blushed and turned away, "Of course! What do you take me for? A baby?"

Alois just laughed and stood up. "So, I assume we're going? I can't wait to see you try to out match my master swimming skills!~"

An hour later, Alois and Ciel walked up the street, their swimming trunks on under their clothes. It was at this point that the blonde boy realized that to swim he'd have to take off his shirt. Alois was panicing internally, to say the least. He could always just sit out and watch. Having no fun was better that exposing himself to all the party goers, including Ciel. Or maybe he could just swim with his shirt on? Yeah! Surely he could do that!

"What's wrong?" Ciel asked, smirking as they arrived to the small brick house with a fenced in pool in the back. "Scared of your utter demise?"

Alois chuckled as they rounded the corner and unlatched the gate. "Whatever you say, mate. Just try to not to drown. I don't really feel like playing lifegaurd."

Alois laughed even louder as Ciel elbowed him angrily. The two looked around and saw several kids from school, some arleady swimming, and others standing around drinking soda and joking around. It took the blonde a few minutes to realize all the talking had stopped and all eyes were on him and Ciel.

"Well, well, well," A voice said emerging from the crowd. "Never thought I''d get the chance to see you again, Trancy." It was the kid from school that Alois had punched. He looked the same, aside from a nasty looking black eye. Alois internally cursed himself for being so stupid.

"What? You thought just by skipping school you could avoid me? Ha! You really are stupid, Trancy. Do you know how much of an idiot you made me look like?" The boy stepped closer to Alois and Ciel, causing them to take a step back in return.

"Let's go." Ciel said irritably, grabbing the blonde's arm and turning toward the gate.

"Woah, woah, Phantomhive. Calm down! I just want to ask blondie here a simply question. I swear I won't lay a single finger on him." The boy said, holding his hands up, as if to signify his sincerity. Slowly, Ciel turned back around, but didn't let go of Alois' wrist, much to the blonde's relief.

All was silent for a while as the rest of the kids got out of the pool and gathered around to see what was happening. Alois' heart was pounding in his chest. Finally, the black eyed boy smirked. A smirk that sent chills down Alois' spine.

"Surely you got the memo, freak. This is a pool party. Wearing clothes simply will not do."

Before Alois could even breathe, Ciel was ripped from beside him and several kids took his place and began ripping and tugging at the blonde's clothes. Alois went into complete pain mode, and began thrashing around and screaming.

"Stop it!" Ciel yelled, but was soon held down by more kids.

"Take it all off!" yelled the black eyed boy, laughing at the tears now streaming from the blonde's eyes.

Alois struggled against his attackers, using all of his strenght to try to shove them off, but they were just way too strong. "Please! I'm sorry!" Alois screamed just as the kids succeed in their misson of yannking off his clothes. There Alois stood, only in his swimming trunks, shaking with absolute fear as silence hung over the scene. Everyone was staring wide eyed at the blonde before them, taking in all of the bruises covering the boy's entire body. Crying harder than ever, Alois did what he'd done once before, he ran.


	5. Chapter 5

**Trigger warning for suicidal tendencies.**

It was too much. All too much. Everything was going down hill so fast. Alois ran through down and past the stupid park, ignoring the stinging of his bare feet slapping the concrete. Everyone saw. Everyone saw what that all man does to him. If Ciel didn't put the peices together before, he sure can now. Thoughts swirled inside the blonde's head as he stopped dead in front of the train tracks. He could really do it. He could. End it all right now. A whistle screamed in the distance making Alois' heart race. It was now or never. He felt like he was underwater. His hearing was warped and his eyes were blurry and every move was in slow motion. Alois stepped closer to the track and chuckled. What a news story this would be. "Rich man's son takes his own life." He could see his father's embarrassment now. One step after another as the train roared closer and closer. This was it.

"Don't you dare, Alois Trancy."

Alois turned on his heels just as the train whizzed by, shaking the ground violently. It was Ciel. He was out of breath and sweaty, but it was certantly Ciel. What? Ciel ran after him? But...why?

The two just stared at each other, even long after the train had past. No one could really piece togther a conherent sentence at this point. Finally, Ciel spoke up.

"Don't you ever even think of that, you idiot." the shorter boy said, walking over to the very confused blonde. Alois didn't know what in the world to think. Seconds ago he could have been dead and gone, but Ciel saved him. The same boy that wouldn't even willingly smile or hug him, yet he could save his life? But did Alois really want to die? Did he? Or did he just want to be saved?

Ciel was closer now, closer than he's ever been to the blonde. Only a few steps out of reach. He looked confused and hurt, a look that Alois had never seen grace the boy's face before.

"Why didn't you tell me!?" Ciel suddenly yelled, causing the taller boy to flinch. Alois took a few steps back, looking down. Nothing was going right at all. Now Ciel was mad. The navy haired boy walked closer to Alois, clenching his fists. Silence once again loomed over the boys, before it was broken by something so out of character that Alois thought he was dreaming.

A hug.

Ciel ran up and tackled the blonde with a huge hug. Alois' eyes widened; he had never ever seen Ciel show this much emotion. Taking the opprotunity, Alois hugged him back tightly.

"Who...who did that to you?" The shorter boy asked into the blonde's chest. Alois immediately froze at the question. Should he tell him? Just spill everything? I mean, what was there to loose?

"My f-father." Alois whispered, scared that his father somehow heard his confession. Ciel looked up at him, his eyes full to the brim of concern.

"For how long?" He whispered quietly.

Alois couldn't look Ciel in the eye. He turned away and looked at thee ground.

"Ever since he a-adopted me. When I was 7."

It was quiet once more as Ciel shook his head and turned away.

"Why? Why didn't you tell me, Alois? You were in pain. All this time you were in pain and you didn't tell me." Suddenly Ciel shoved Alois away. The blonde stumbled back and looked at Ciel with wide eyes.

"Why, Alois?! Why didn't you tell me? We're friends, right?! I wouldn've helped you! But, no! You just kept quiet. All that time!" The shorter boy yelled, causing several birds to flee from their trees.

Alois couldn't believe it. He had made Ciel angry by telling him. Didn't he understand that he couldn't've told? Didn't he understand the fear? Didn't he understand the pain?

Tears fell from the blonde's icy blue eyes and, suddenly, he grew angry. He had opened up to Ciel, the boy who he loved, and he just pushed him away? Why!?

"Do you know what would've happened if I did tell you?!" Alois yelled, causing a shocked expression to appear on Ciel's face. "You'd react how you're reacting right now! You'd yell and scream and never want to talk to me again! I didn't want to loose the only friend I've ever had!" Alois was on a roll now, barely stopping to breathe.

"You want to know what else would've happened?! My father would have killed me if he found out! Or, worse, he would drag you into it! He would hurt you too and it'd be all my fault! "I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I was scared! I still am! It's like he's everywhere, Ciel! He's always over my shoulder hearing my every word!" Alois stopped suddenly and took a deep breath.

"I...just want someone to..love me." he whispered, his anger rapidily dissolving into tears. "I-I thought you'd understand, C-Ciel."

Alois was done. It was over. The blonde turned to leave when Ciel grabbed his wrist and turned him around. Alois couldn't even look Ciel in the eye.

"Alois..." The shorter boy said softly, taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry I yelled at you. It was wrong of me. I do understand, Alois. I do. You were just trying to protect me, weren't you? And I thank you for that. You're a really great friend." Ciel said, smiling half heartedly. Alois felt his hear well up with so much happiness and joy. Ciel really thought all of that?!

"But, Alois..'" Ciel continued, looking the taller boy dead in the eyes. "We have to report this. Right now. I won't allow it to go on any further."

Alois' happiness and joy went south just as fast as his smile. They were going to tell on his father?! Tell who? The police? Like they'd believe that!

"Ciel, we can!" Alois half yelled, panic seeping though his words.

"Yes we can, and we will." Ciel said firmly, grabbing the blonde's hand and intertwining their fingers, causing Alois' heart to skip a beat. Just standing there, hand in hand with Ciel and the soft sun setting in the distance, Alois felt like anything was possible. They were going to report his no good father and he'd be able to stay with Ciel. He's never have to look over his shoulder or dread coming home ever again. Everything was going to be perfectly alright.

"Shall we get going?" Ciel asked with a smile. "I'm ready to get your monster of a father thrown in prison."

Alois chuckled and squeezed Ciel's hand. "Can I get dressed first? I don't think we'd be that convincing if I showed up in rainbow swimming trunks."

**A/N: Oh, Alois. You and your rainbow swimming trunks.**


End file.
